Lie To Me
by mrandmrsstabler
Summary: The primal questions of a marriage: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other? What will we do? - G. Flynn For Fayevdm Possible M material in the future
1. Prologue

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! WE'RE SO SORRY TO BE GETTING THIS TO YOU GUYS SO LATE, BUT THE HOLIDAYS CAUGHT UP TO US! THIS CHRISTMAS WE'RE GOING OLD SCHOOL FOR THE NEW YEAR, SO WE HOPE YOU LIKE :) THIS ONE IS FOR OUR VERY GOOD FRIEND FAYEVDM. WE HOPE YOU LIKE IT KIDDO! **

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><p><em>Prologue<em>

The rain was coming down hard around two in the afternoon. Gray skies and tin ticking rain was all Olivia could see out of Casey's window. Olivia felt a chill up her shoulders as if an instinct was trying to warn her but she wouldn't, or rather, couldn't acknowledge it. Ella was making to much noise with her toys. With a small sigh she turned her attention to her daughter whom was crawled up on the floor with her peat coat on and her dolls at her feet.

She was so cute, Olivia smiled.

"Hey, Liv. Tommy's got the bags in the car, do you want me to pack up this pasta for the way home?"

Olivia brought her eyes up to meet her red headed friend working in the kitchen. Olivia flashed another warm smile before polite saying, "No. Don't worry about it. We've got enough at home. I think El and I are gonna do chicken tonight."

"Ohhh, _very_ nice," Casey sang her words as if she were jealous.

"Hey tiny carrot. Go say thank you to Aunt Casey for the sleepover," Olivia said to her daughter. The pleasant four year old was quick on her feet to run and jump into Casey's arms.

"I'm gonna miss you, silly worm."

"I'm gonna miss you too, auntie Casey," Ella smiled.

"Hey! What about me!" Tommy, Casey's brother entered into the room, drenched from the rain. His tone and physical appearance made Ella's smile even bigger.

"You too uncle Tommy."

"Alright! That's what I'm talking about!" Olivia could only smile as they high fived in front of her. Casey and Tommy, treated Ella so well- both of them really. Like they were really family. Olivia was grateful to them, She couldn't even begin to describe what a healer her friendship with Casey had been through out the years- these past few months especially.

Olivia was going through a tough time. Raising her daughter on her own, working like a dog to make sure she had everything she wanted. At times- most times, it wasn't easy. Casey had been there through everything, from meltdowns to wiggly teeth. Olivia couldn't even begin to describe the importance of their friendship. She valued it, and treasured it with everything she had. After everything that happened, she depended on it.

She needed these weekends and get togethers they shared. When she was with Casey, she didn't feel so alone anymore. Having Ella was one thing, but she couldn't exactly cry on her shoulder or ask her big questions like _What did I do wrong? Why won't he talk to me? _

That was Olivia's war. Those were personal battles she dealt with. Ella couldn't see that side of her. It wasn't right. She knew in her heart that things might never get better for them, but Olivia was ok with that. She didn't want better for Ella. She wanted best.

"Do you have your hat sweetie? We're getting ready to go," Olivia said softly, maternally. Ella produced it to her mother who was now bending down on her knees to put it on her head. The wool beanie slid over Ella's long, dark hair, in one smooth sweep. Olivia tried to keep a straight face as she noticed the two bear ears poking at the top. What could she say? Her kid was adorable.

Quickly, she kissed her cheek and scooped her up in her arms.

"Thanks again guys!" she said warmly.

"Anytime. Come back soon!" Casey said from her doorway. And so went the opportunity, that would have saved Olivia and Ella's life.

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><p><strong>STAY TUNED! LET'S SEE WHAT OTHER PRESENTS SANTA WILL BRING- TOTALLY NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT LAST LINE.<strong>


	2. Hurt

**REVIEWS**

**fayevdm: **I love Santa's first present. I can't wait to see what he may have hidden way in the back that I haven't found yet :)

You're Awesome,

Faye

**OH WE'RE SO GLAD! YAY! HOPE WE CAN SURPRISE YOU WITH THIS ONE, SORRY IT'S TAKING SO LONG. WE HAVE SO MANY STORIES NOW! YIKES! BUT IT'S ALL EXCITING. PROMISE WE WON'T FORGET. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO US ;)**

**LOVE YOU!**

**katechoco:** Olivia and that cutiepie Ella are going to get hurt? No wayyy! I will come and personally hunt you down! (I'm closer than you might think ;) )

**PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU ARE IN THE UNITED STATES, SO I CAN HIDE. JUST LET ME KNOW, SO I GET RUNNING. **

**roanie123:** Ummm please continue quickly. Thank you.

**SORRY I'M LATE! **

**southernbelle843: **Can we all just stop our lives to acknowledge that last line. Let's just sit in a circle and just harkness on the reason I'm frustrated which is that last line. Can Santa and Jesus just team up and save Olivia and Ella?

**STOP!**

**NOW TAKE A MOMENT...**

**ACKNOWLEDGE THAT LAST LINE...**

**O - OUR CIRCLE. **

**YOU KNOW...WHEN SANTA AND JESUS TEAM UP, MIRACLES HAPPEN RIGHT?**

**mhbaby:** Ummm okay...no one better Olivia or Ella because I'm gonna read the next chapter so they better be in perfect condition! Update soon!

Love  
>Keonna<p>

**UM, UH, UM...WE LOVE YOU TOO!**

**please love us after this chapter**

**Kate**

**teleficsmovies211:** Hey loves. I'm so ready for more. This is gonna b another epic fanfic adventure

**AAAAAAAA BAE IS HERE! YES VERY, EPIC INDEED.**

**nickandliv: **"And so went the opportunity, that would have saved Olivia and Ella's life."

What the hell does this mean? Don't bullshit me! Say with me: No. Dead. Olivia.

Make it your mantra!

**NO. DEAD. OLIVIA. **

**- YET**

**MMMM. Ella's daddy is gonna be pissed.**

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><p><em>White noise screeched in the back of Olivia's head...Ella was humming one of the lullabies Olivia would sing to her...she was running, laughing as her mother chased her on the beach..."Mama, will daddy be home when we get back?" Those had been her words. Olivia had looked up at her in the rear view mirror. She saw her daughter's smiling face before it scrunched up, terrified at what was happening.<em>

_Olivia heard the honking but she didn't see. Then that sound...like soda cans being ripped into two. Her tires screeched and she lost control of the wheel. The windshield collapsed, and something ripe went through Olivia's chest. _

Voices faded in and out of her consciousness and Olivia struggled to make sense of what they were saying. She was in an immense amount of pain. She felt like someone had stabbed a yard long piece of steel in the area above her lungs. It made it difficult to breathe. This feeling was not quite right, and that awareness prevented her from being entirely at ease. She was sure that this uneasiness stemmed from the raised voices in the background, and again she attempted to filter out the garbled speech from the few words that she could understand.

". . . Don't get . . ." it was a man's voice, recognizable and well loved but unfamiliarly harsh. ". . . What she did . . . unforgivable . . . left me . . . bitch!" Another familiar voice intervened. This one was female, her gentle voice soothed Olivia's overwrought nerves.

". . . Is she? What . . . she do . . . so bad?" Olivia strained to open her eyes but it felt like a colossal effort.

". . . Deserted me . . . needed her most . . ."

Olivia managed a weak gasp at that, outraged by this blatant lie. The couple went abruptly silent.

". . . Waking up," the woman said urgently. ". . . The doctor! Now, Elliot!"

Doctor? Olivia frowned. Why a doctor? For the first time since regaining consciousness she wondered where she was and managed to drag her heavy lids apart with great effort. She stared up into the vaguely recognizable features of a pretty woman who seemed to be of the same year of Olivia's thirty-six. Alex Cabot.

"Try not to panic," she instructed gently. "You were in a car accident" Her deep blue eyes were grave behind the lenses of her trendy prescription eyeglasses, and her voice took on a chastising tone. "Elliot's fucking losing it, what were you thinking, driving in the middle of a norreaster!" She scolded, despite her hushed tone.

Olivia frowned, and an alarming thought struck her. She sat up in a blind panic, ignoring the sudden onslaught of dizziness.

"Accident?" Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears. "Where's Ella?"

Alex laid off, regaining her sympathy for her friend's incident. "She was in intensive care until Thursday. The doctors put her in a standard room this morning. She's fine."

Olivia hyperventilated. Tears falling-not coming, from her eyes. "Wha-what?"

"Liv you need to calm down. The doctor's had to remove a fucking shit pile of glass from your chest-

"Hey, watch the language. I get enough of that from my moms," Fin pleaded from out of the window corner. Olivia's eyes shot towards him out of panic.

"Ok. Pimp daddy? Not helping," Alex retorted. She turned back to Olivia. "They removed a ton of glass. You resuscitated twice...you almost didn't make it."

Olivia could hardly breathe. She was not taking this well. And Elliot- didn't Alex mention that he was angry? What was he doing here? Where was Ella-

"Olivia Stabler?" A short, robust, black woman stood in the doorway of Olivia's hospital room with a clip board and and a mouth full of attitude.

All three in the room answered, "Yes."

"Olivia Stabler, parent of Ella Stabler, and my ICU patient,"

"Yes." Olivia croaked.

"Good to have you back, sweetheart. I know some people who've been waiting' to see you."

"My daughter?" Olivia asked.

"The cute girl with the blue eyes and the brown hair down to her beehine? Yeah, that's one. Other one is about six one, blue eyes, and angrier than a dog on a wrack of broken bones. He your husband?" Olivia nodded. "Honey, you can stay here as long as you like."

"No!" They were all taken aback by Olivia's sudden, shrill of vehemence. "No, I can't stay here. I have to go home. I should be there right now. Ella and I have to get back."

"Don't be stupid Stabler," Elliot admonished, and Olivia's world reeled.

"What did you call me?" she asked in a shocked whisper.

"He called you Stabler," Elliot taunted from where he stood in the doorway with his arms folded across his broad chest. "That is still your name, isn't it?" Olivia stared at Elliot helplessly, not knowing what to say and suddenly hating him with a ferocity that shook her. It was the first time she'd seen him in almost a year. He was standing at her bedside and much too close for comfort. Olivia shifted uneasily beneath him, and lowered her eyes to the bed sheets. She was terrified to look him in the eye. She was too afraid that she might see the harsh reality of his contempt for her. She wouldn't have been able to take it.

"Well?" he prompted sarcastically, and she nodded mutely, not understanding this hostility from someone who had always loved and respected her.

"Please . . ." she whispered. "Please, El, I have to go home."

"You're going home all right," Elliot informed her coldly. "Just as soon as it can be arranged."

"Mr. Palmer, I strongly advise against that," the doctor interjected firmly, but Elliot ignored her, keeping his eyes on Olivia.

"Just prescribe whatever medication she'll need, Doctor," he ordered in a manner that went completely against his usual easygoing nature. "We'll make sure that she gets plenty of rest." The doctor glared at them before shaking her head and leaving the room abruptly.

"Elliot, do you think this is a good idea?" Alex asked worriedly, and he raised his eyes to her anxious face before smiling gently, his expression now reminiscent of the Elliot that Olivia knew and loved.

"It'll be fine," he murmured reassuringly, but Alex made an irritated sound and shook her head angrily. Olivia reached for her friend, not knowing how to react around Elliot. It was still so strange to see him here after all this time. "I'm so tired. Take me home. Please. I need to go home . . ." she whispered.

"Spousal privelege, Liv. Elliot couldn't fucking kill you if he wanted, and I wouldn't be able to stop him."

"I'm still in the room, you know." Elliot growled.

"Oh, fucking inspector gadget!" Alex spat. "Liv, I'm really glad your ok, but I can't stay here in the same room as him." Alex seethed as she gathered her things. "I will call you in the morning." She breathed.

Fin watched her go. "I guess that's my cue," and then he went following after.

"Must be nice to wake up and have your husband at your side. Bet that's a surprise considering you left him." Elliot said once they were alone.

Olivia's eyes widened. "I didn't," she protested vehemently. "I wouldn't. Why would you say something like that, El? Why would you lie?" She heard the bewildered hurt in her voice and was ashamed to reveal how much his lies had wounded her. "I thought you loved me."

"Yeah well, the love I have for you died a long time ago," he snarled. She jumped when his voice caught up with him and the volume increased dramatically on the last word.

"I didn't do anything Elliot," she whimpered, her own voice still far away. "You didn't want me anymore . . . so I left. I left! What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to be honest with me!" Elliot shouted.

The return of Olivia's doctor, restrained Elliot from making frustrated move toward Olivia. Olivia blinked at the fury on his face; she had no idea where all of this anger was coming from.

"You alright?" The doctor quipped, raising her sharp brows up at Elliot. He glared at her before backing off. "I thought so." Then turning to Olivia. "You need anything? I'll be right outside."

"Thank you," Olivia whispered. The doctor humphed and closed the door. Elliot's hot gaze on her, had not faltered.

"You took everything from me when you left. You stripped me of all dignity, left me- you left me... and you never once looked back. I will never forgive you for that, Olivia."

"You told me to go," she defended herself weakly. He made an impatient sound and turned his back on her. Bewildered, she stared at the broad expanse of his back and tried again, tears spilling from her eyes and her voice thickening with despair. "Elliot. You didn't want me anymore. You said . . . I t-tricked you . . . said . . ."

"I'm moving back in, until you get better." He cut through her words coldly, spinning around to face her again, his eyes locked onto her tearful face with an intensity that unnerved her. "After that, I'm taking Ella. You broke our custody agreement with this accident. I don't trust you anymore." The tears streaming down her face did not move him at all, and his vicious gaze was unwavering.

"Please," she whispered, and his eyes dropped to her mouth. "Please, Elliot . . . don't do this . . . I don't understand why you're being like this."

"For God's sake, Olivia," he all but shouted, suddenly and quite spectacularly losing his cool. "This is not my fault! This is you! You did this to us!. . ." He gritted his teeth and tilted his head back, and she could see the muscles in his neck and throat work as he forced himself back under control. It took him longer than she would have expected. Elliot had always been quite adept at mastering his temper. Not this time, it seemed. While he managed to damp down the rage, she could still feel it simmering dangerously below the surface and it unsettled her. "I'm taking Ellla," he growled dangerously, and Olivia's eyes flooded as she thought of her beautiful little girl.

"No," Olivia melted. "No, you can't have her."

"You don't get to tell me what I can't have anymore." he gritted out bitterly.

"But she's ours El. We made her together," she fought, trying and failing to keep the pain and confusion from her voice.

"Exactly. Which means that I have the same amount of right to her as you do."

"Mommy?"

Both Olivia and Elliot snapped there heads to the sound of their daughter's voice as she entered into the room. Olivia, expertly swiped her eyes and inhaled the snot running down her nose, though she was unable to keep her lip from quivering at the harsh reality of both Elliot's words and Ella's physical appearance.

She had a cut in her eyebrow and several bruises all about her face. She was sporting a cast on her arm, and she had little cuts around her chin and neck. That was a lot for a five year old. And it hurt Olivia so deeply to see her baby like that. It hurt her to the pit of her stomach. She opened her arms, even though it was almost physically impossible to move and smiled down at her daughter as she was escorted by a young nurse.

With help, Ella was able to climb up into her mothers arms with no problem, and she was just fine resting inside Olivia's wounded chest. She scurried under the covers and nuzzled close. Olivia was running her fingers through her hair when Elliot came to sit by them. She knew that he was waiting for Ella to address him, but she never did. Olivia guessed that it was because she didn't recognize him.

If Elliot were serious about this custody thing, he was going to put Ella through hell. Olivia could only hold her daughter tighter as she tried to ignore the possibility of that day. "Ella, say hello to your father."

The little head turned to look at Elliot, and Olivia winced at the feeling of her daughter brushing against her chest.

Elliot had been angry, but all raging films of emotion ceased when he set eyes on what was the mini version of Olivia. They shared the same eyes, same nose, same hair, same lips, same cheeks, same everything. The only thing Elliot could take credit for was the stark expressions like the one on Ella's face now as she stared up at him in confusion.

She did not bother to lift her head, and she barely opened her eyes to look at him as she sighed a hello. _"Hi..."_

Olivia sniveled with her head pressed against Ella, and Elliot stared at the two of them, suddenly at a loss for words. This was why he stayed away. The two of them- together, was too much for him to handle. His anxieties and fears as a father coupled with the stress and insecurities of being a husband, smothered him.

No way was he ready for this.

But then again...he didn't have much of a choice.

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><p><strong>WOW<strong>


	3. Pain

**REVIEWS**

**southernbelle843: **Nooooooooooooo don't let him take Ella! How did Olivia trick Elliot? Will they ever get better? So many questions! So little light shown on the situation! WOW.

Ps. You guys (NickandLiv included *cough* Tangled Webs*cough) just want me to hate Elliot. I can feel it. This is some conspiracyO.o

**OOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! CAN'T TELL YOU OF THE TRICKS! THEY WILL GET BETTER THOUGH! WE WILL SHED SOME LIGHT!- DON'T WORRY YOU'LL LOVE ELLIOT IN THIS FF, BUT HE'S GOING TO COME OFF AS A JERK IN THE BEGINNING.**

**fayevdm: **Woah, so I'm intrigued to find out why Elliot would have stayed away from Ella. What could have possibly transpired to keep him away from his child for so long that she doesn't even remember him. Alas, angsty E/O.

I am counting on you guys to make it all better in the end but I'm counting on a long and winding road to get there! AWESOME :)

**AAAAAAA LIFE IS COMPLETE! INTRIGUE, INTRIGUE, INTRIGUE! YOU KNOW...I DON'T KNOW...MAYBE HIS COMPULSIVE DISORDER...SOMETHING LIKE THAT...ANGSTY THOUGH- ANGSTY, ANGSTY, ANGSTY. **

**nickandliv: **I'm lost. And why did they call Elliot Mr. Palmer? Who the heck is Mr. Palmer?

**I'M GOING TO FIND YOU! - Mr. Palmer...like from sense and sensibility...it was a joke lol**

**roanie123: **I can't wait to find out why El is treating Liv so badly. I'm glad that Liv and Ella are okay.

**ISN'T IT OBVIOUS! LOL!- Yeah, I'm glad they're ok too**

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><p>"She's gotten big," Elliot whispered after an epitome of silence. Ella was sleeping now, so he could feel and touch as he pleased. His thumb stroked at the swollen half of her cheek without fear, and it felt so good to be able to experience her that way, Elliot thought. But then he tore his touch from her when his thoughts got the best of him. And they were tormented thoughts. Horrible ones- and they were about Olivia.<p>

If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have such a problem being his daughter's life. He'd have been there every step of the way, but because of his anger, and his temper, his lack of control, Elliot didn't trust himself to be anywhere near Ella. Half the time he was ready to kill Olivia for what she did to him. Back when their incident happened, he could feel the urge all the way to his fingertips. Even now the voices were echoing in his head.

And while he knew he'd never physically hurt Olivia, he'd admit that he had once come _very close._ And for a man like him, that was enough to stay away- for a long time. If it meant that Ella would be safe, he gave Olivia full custody, but now it would seem she couldn't even handle that.

Olivia turned out to be a bad wife, and while she had been thrilled to be pregnant, he seriously doubted she was a good mother. She probably took her along whenever she-

"Well if you were around, maybe you would've gotten to see how big," Olivia said. Elliot seemed to ignore her, with his eyes steady on Ella, but Olivia knew that he heard her. She hoped that she twisted some sort of nerve and gotten through to the unreachable Elliot.

She hoped that she'd gotten to the man she loved, and she hoped that she hurt him the way he hurt her. Her eyes dropped for a second time, only to fixate on the thin blankets of her hospital bed. Thin sheets like the ones she used to sleep in, in her old apartment where she retreated with Ella immediately after their separation. She thought about how she waited, and waited for him to come to her so they could talk, and work things through.

But Elliot wasn't interested in working things through. The only thing that interested Elliot was how he could further hurt the woman he was supposed to love. There had never been a doubt in Olivia's mind, that Elliot did feel that way about her, but something else...

Something horrible had made him stop. She just wish she knew what it was.

Hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks…months. He would visit Ella, give her the silent treatment, live his life without her in it, and the more and more time went on, the more and more Olivia believed that was what Elliot truly wanted.

To be free of her.

For good.

But he went ahead and took things a step further when he stopped coming for Ella. Why? She couldn't be sure, but on the last night that she and Ella saw Elliot, he had turned to look at her.

Really look at her.

And Olivia thought, he'll say something. He'll kiss me, and I'll let him do it again after I pull away confused as to why he suddenly felt the need to be with me. I'll want more, and I'll kiss him back the way I used to…But Elliot didn't kiss her. He didn't touch her, he didn't want anything to do with her. He'd simply said _goodbye, _and never came back.

And now Olivia had been forced to realize that he had meant every letter of that cruel little word.

Now he was sitting across from her speaking more cruel words just to spite her, and the damage he was causing felt like fresh paper cuts across her skin.

Raw. Exact pain. The kind you felt to the finest degree.

"Give me the address to wherever it is you're staying...and the keys. I'll go home and pack some things and bring them over." Olivia was unable to respond, as Elliot boldly reached for her bag and began going through her things. Cop to cop, he knew what to look for. Drivers license and car keys. The rest was insufficient to his plans.

The oxygen tubes in her nose were not as useful as she wanted to be as she lost control of her breathing. She struggled, suffering the pain in her chest just watching him rip through her things. Elliot was like a tidal wave. In the beginning he was charming to look at. Intense- made you feel things, anticipate, extraordinary things, but when he came crashing down he ruined everything in its place. And that's what had hurt Olivia the most in their separation. It hurt even more just now.

"Stop," Olivia pleaded.

Elliot turned back with naked disgust on his face. Olivia trembled as Elliot's fists clenched around the ends of her purse. _"What?" _He barely whispered. "Don't tell m-

Ella coughed in Olivia's arms. The bag dropped from Elliot's hands and his eyes fell to the sterile floor in the hospital room. _"You've gotta be kidding me."_

This was not happening- still happening.

Elliot could barely gather the means to stare straight let alone contain his rage. While Olivia was still trying to catch up to the fact that he was treating her like the villain when he was the one who kicked her out and drove her away. He tried to find release in the light coming from the window, but none came.

Instead he saw himself opening the window, stepping onto the platform, and falling face first onto the pavement. Maybe Olivia would try and stop him, maybe she would wrap her arms around him, and tell him not to. And maybe he'd listen because he missed her voice...

But he felt like this _everyday_. How many more times would he have to think about eating his gun or putting his foot on the gas when it should have been on the brakes? How much more would it take before he did something, completely and utterly regrettable?

He sighed heavily, as he processed Olivia's protest to him going to her house. God only knew what he would find there. Whatever it was probably would kill him, he thought miserably. And then before long he was breathing again, the way he always did after an episode. Then, he was walking out, Olivia's keys and ID in hand. Then he was gone.

Olivia let out the breath she was holding, and her chest came collapsing with it. Her eyes flooded and overflowed while she held onto Ella. And they sat together in silence. Ella sleeping. Olivia sitting…staring…thinking.

Elliot hated her.

He blamed her.

He resented her.

He regretted ever marrying her.

It was all so finally clear, Olivia thought as she stared at Casey the next morning.

"He still won't talk to you?" Casey questioned gently.

Olivia shook her head, her eyes now permanently red for the foreseeable future. "Why did you leave him?"

"I didn't…not willingly. I love him…_loved_ him," Olivia replied blankly. "…I left because he told me to go."

"It just doesn't make any sense. Why would he go off on you like that? There has to be some reason, Olivia. You don't just go to sleep with the love of your life and wake up next to your sworn enemy."

"Is that what I am to him?" Olivia wondered out loud. The guilt and hurt all over her face and deep in her voice.

"No…" Casey regretted her words the minute she saw Olivia's reaction. She was desperate for an answer, an explanation, even if it came from her best friend who truly didn't know a good dropping dime about why Elliot left. "Liv, I'm sure he'll talk. You guys will work things through. Why else would he have come back? He obviously cares about you and Ella's well being."

"No…he doesn't," Olivia mumbled.

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><p>She looked sickly. Her usually vibrant skin was pale, and she had a strange yellow color to her. Elliot glared down at the woman he used to proudly call his wife, and sat in pure hate for her. This pathetic bitch, was playing the victim in this situation, wasn't she? Telling everyone they had ever known or knew, that he was the bad guy.<p>

That he wanted to end their marriage, and separate. Elliot wasn't surprised. It was so like her, for Olivia to take the upper hand. Forget that she destroyed his life, and crushed his heart. "_Forget it." _He said out loud, his barely contained violence for her teetering on the edge.

He watched her labor to breathe, and heard all the hoarse and ragged protests of her lungs as she slept.

Even if he wanted to kill her, Olivia looked like she would have no problem doing the job herself. He grimaced, unable to feel any compassion for her. He hated her. And from here on out. Nothing mattered but how he was going to exact her revenge.

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><p><strong>You may be surprised, but Elliot's not the one at fault here. I know he comes off as a huge jerk. But he has his reasons. Also- longer chapters from here. <strong>


	4. Test

**REVIEWS**

**mackiebaby: **I seriously hate Elliot right now. He's being a jerk and I hate him. But I really hope their relationship heads to the right track soon because this is so good and I can't get enough of it! Love!

**AAAAAA MY PRIME REVIEWER. YES, THIS IS HOW YOU MUST FEEL **

**teleficsmovies211: **Uuugghh I just want to know what she allegedly did to him? Our Olivia would never do anything hurtful to Elliott so make me understand. Love u guys

**WE LOVE YOU TOO! DON'T WORRY BAE, WE GOT THEM. **

**fayevdm: **You are doing a wonderful job weaving quite the tale. It's the car crash you can't look away from. My curiosity is killing me about what could have possibly happened.

**OH, I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT! I KNOW WE PMED, AND WE SORT OF TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED, BUT WE TWISTED THINGS A BIT SO WE COULD MAKE ELLIOT'S PAIN A BIT MORE BELIEVABLE, BUT DON'T WORRY. WE'RE STILL GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND. **

**britkneerose: **Ugh I'm dying to know what happened between them!

**ME TOO ;)**

**guest: **Please just make an happy ending xxx

**bri: **I am sooooOOoOoOoOOOO confused. What did she do?! What did he do?! WHAT HAPPENED

**AAAA THE QUESTIONS, I WISH I COULD ANSWER!**

**I KNOW WHAT I SAID LAST TIME ABOUT ELLIOT NOT BEING AT FAULT, BUT LIV ISN'T EITHER. SHE'S THE VICTIM IN THIS SITUATION. IT'S SO MESSED UP. **

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><p>Olivia was still uneasy about Elliot coming back into her life when they pulled up to her apartment building later that same day. Her emotions were still settled on high as she watched Elliot carry Ella up the stairs while she struggled behind, her lungs to weak to progress as she once used to. Staring at the back of his head, she wondered if he was being nonchalant on purpose, but then her accident wasn't exactly his fault either.<p>

Deciding to get caught somewhere in between anger and frustration she staggered on quietly, until they finally reached her door on the fourth floor. Elliot had the keys. He let himself in, and though he'd never been into the apartment, he found Ella's room without asking.

As he laid their daughter in her bed, Olivia was close behind, itching to get near to the only person who liked her in this situation. She avoided Elliot's eyes, despite the fact that they were staring at her, and gazed down at Ella instead. Her beautiful, little face, was so bruised and scratched.

Olivia grimaced sadly before, lying down next to her without so much as a word to Elliot. And he, for once, didn't seem to have any for her.

In fact, Elliot wasn't interested in being anywhere near Olivia at the moment. So he left them to rest, so he could have time in the apartment by himself.

The place was exactly as Olivia would have had it. It wasn't big, but it was beautiful...and cozy, Elliot thought bitterly. Olivia always had a knack for doing that- making a place feel like home when it wasn't.

He missed that.

His own apartment, compared to hers, was a concrete ice box. Except for the few memorabilia he owned, the place just barely passed as a bachelors pad before it looked vacant. His apartment had no memories, but Olivia's did. Walls from floor to ceiling shared photographs of Ella's childhood.

Pictures from the beach, finger paints, and Christmases, surrounded Elliot. And Olivia had not left him out either. She had kept him alive in those photos...but Elliot couldn't help but wonder why.

Olivia had betrayed him. She didn't care for him anymore. She hadn't cared for him in months. So why put up a constant reminder of the person you hated? What was she trying to prove? Did she regret what she did? Or was it all for Ella?

Elliot couldn't say, but the slight tug on his sleeve got his attention.

"Thank you for driving us home..." Elliot gritted his teeth. She looked so damn vulnerable. He hated that. "But whatever it is you're trying to do with our custody agreement, needs to wait. I get that your upset, but this is not the time to play cat and mouse with our daughter, because you've caught me in a bad position." Elliot flinched at her words.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Elliot sighed. "For chrissake, Olivia. You just got into a car accident, and you look like shit. Your body is exhausted, one of your lungs is punctured, you're too thin, you're not sleeping- This isn't up for discussion. Ella needs a strong mother right now. Not some flim job, that doesn't have the sense to keep from driving in goddamned nor'easter!" Elliot shouted his last icy words into Olivia's face, inflicting more severe damage then he would have liked.

Olivia had physically reacted to his words, violently jerking at his last syllable, before letting her eyes swell with hot acid. She shook her head, as her cheeks flared a deep red.

"Elliot...I don't understand. I don't- I don't understand. Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to deserve this from you? Please..." she choked. Her tears slipping one after the other. "Tell me..."

It was getting difficult to stand up straight, but this was important. She was physically weak at the moment, and she couldn't let Elliot get the upper hand by proving him right. She wasn't strong. The accident had done a ticket on one of her lungs, and she needed the proper amount of time to heal or else the damage would be permanent.

"How dare you ask me that?" he hissed furiously. His his hand, coming up to grip her jaw. "How _dare_ you," he spat, and let her go. "After everything that you've done?"

"I did what you told me to do," she argued, her voice trembling at the difficulty there was in relaying that message. "You told me to leave, remember? I'm the selfish bitch, you regretted marrying. The whore, who gave you a daughter. Remember that Elliot? You didn't want me. You never wanted to see me or Ella again."

"Stop." Elliot whispered. "Stop. Stop playing the victim," he warned. "I can see right through you, and your _sick_ games. The only reason I am here, is for Ella, but push me again, and I swear to god you will never see her again."

Again.

His threat.

Her worst fear.

An icy shiver went down Olivia's spine and her throat closed up, shutting her up as effectively as a punch to the jaw would have. Their eyes clashed for a moment, his stormy and furious, hers bleak with terror. Elliot muttered something vile beneath his breath before taking an unexpected step toward her and folding her into his strong arms.

The rest was a blur, as he caught her lips in a fiercely tender kiss. He was careful, giving her room to breathe, but Olivia didn't seem to want to. Her gasp for more was seasoned with fear and relief, as she burrowed closer, wanting the intimacy and affection that she had been missing for so long.

Her mouth opened beneath his, and Elliot groaned, holding her closer with one hand on the small of her back, and the other in the back of her head. There was an edge of desperation to his kiss, a hunger that had never been present in his lazy, long kisses of the past. His tongue sought and found hers; she felt weak and dizzy with desire.

_God. _She had missed him so much, enough to allow this moment of weakness, even though she knew it wouldn't solve any of their problems. His hands crept up to cup her face, and his thumbs swept over the silky skin of her cheeks. She had her arms wrapped around his hard, warm body, and her hands splayed against his back. She would have crept into his skin if she could.

He stiffened suddenly before tossing her aside with a vicious curse and glaring down into her dazed face contemptuously. He should his head grimly before turning on his heel and striding out without another word, leaving her hurt, humiliated, and furious in his wake.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her shaking body, still utterly devastated by how much he seemed to despise her. And Olivia began to wonder how long it would take before the ice in his heart began to melt.

One bridged burned. Two more to go.

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><p><strong>UMMMMM. ANGST, COMING NEXT. (AND THE LONGER CHAPTERS. SORRY, COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT)<strong>

**Special thanks to Natasha Anders who gave the inspiration for this story too! **


	5. Ice

**REVIEWS**

**fayevdm:** Wow, amazing and so, so sad. I do have an idea where you are going after the PM's but I still don't understand how that would make him leave Ella too. Ahhhhhh... the intrigue :)

**YEAH ME EITHER LOL. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. **

**lacenleather24: **So I'm glad I found this, still in it's early chapters. (I always catch them in the middle) Anyway ok I wonder why Elliot hates Olivia so much. What could she have possibly done that was so bad that he even stopped seeing his child. (I hope Ella is really his, but that's just me taking a guess) He really really hates her, but that kiss from this chapter proves otherwise. And why can't Liv remember what she did to El since she is the bad guy at fault? Can't wait for more, please don't take long. And yes we need longer chapters!

**OH OH OH. I WAN T TO TELL YO YO YO. BUT I CAN'T THAT'S A NO NO NO- Liv DOESN'T REMEMBER BECAUSE, SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT ELLIOT IS TRYING TO POINT OUT. **

**roanie123: **I want to know why El is being so cruel

**JOIN THE CLUB**

**inescapela2001: **At least, he kissed her... let's see what comes next. Keep going please!

**YESS. HE KISSED HER. RESST ISS HISSTORY.**

**nypdliz: **Great job so far. Cant wait to read the events leading up to this!

**AAA THANK YOU BLUE SOLDIER. **

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><p>They had been living together for a little over a week, and it had been exactly that long since Elliot's kiss. He still wouldn't talk to her, which was odd, considering, he insisted on staying in her house. And to make matters worse, he was spending more and more time with Ella, working on the relationship he knew he would need in order to get full custody of their daughter.<p>

It made Olivia sick every time she thought about it. She didn't even have a choice. She needed help with Ella now more than ever. Her lung injury didn't permit Olivia to be usual swift, all going, single mother, working mommy that she usually was. Ella needed her dad, and in some strange way Elliot needed her too. Even though they weren't talking, he did seem more pleasant, and he was thoroughly involved in Olivia's care. Cooking and cleaning after Ella like it was his job. He fit into family life so well, and so naturally, the head ache only got bigger for Olivia.

"Mommeeeeee!" Olivia leaned up from bed and set her diary aside as her little girl came running into her room, and in a swift hurl, brown hair and blue eyes smothered Olivia in one uncontrollable moment. Olivia held onto her daughter and buried her face in her hair, loving the child smell of her. Her daughter was in a laughing fit and would not calm down.

"What is it baby?" Olivia panted, smiling down at her daughter.

"It's daddy! It's daddy! You have to come and see!" The excitement and the rush had taken it's toll on Olivia very quickly. She held on to Ella tightly and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before giving Ella a tender squeeze.

"Ok. I will, just give mommy a second, let me-

Elliot plucked their daughter from Olivia's arms before she could finish. "Ella calm down, you're hurting your mommy," he'd said. He spoke in a quiet tempered voice, much in the way he used to talk to Olivia when he held her close in his arms. His tone was soft and warm, and it made Olivia feel better than the train wreck she usually felt like.

She pretended to be unaware that he was staring at her, but when he made the decision to sit with her, she was completely unprepared.

"You look much better," he observed, his eyes continuing to examine her face and form. "You don't look as skinny, and you're getting some color."

"Well if I'm getting fat, it'll probably be on account of all the stadium food you've been feeding me."

He threw her off completely and flashed the smallest of smiles her way. "I thought you liked hot dogs."

"I do, but I try not to eat it when the rest of my meal is compatible with mustard too," Olivia explained.

Elliot set Ella down on the floor and whispered something in her ear. Olivia watched as their daughter leapt from his arms and put the TV on in Olivia's room, periodically switching the channels until her favorite Disney movie came on.

"Have you given any thought about what you're going to do after you recover?"

Olivia shot her eyes up at Elliot. What was he talking about? Did he really mean to do this now? Discuss Ella's future, now? He knew that Olivia had a mentoring job at SVU so it wasn't like he was referring to something else. The son of a bitch wanted to talk about taking their daughter for good, and he wanted to do it when it was most inconvenient for her too. Olivia suppressed her groan and opened her mouth.

"What do you mean?"

He frowned. "It wasn't a trick question, Liv," he responded scathingly.

"Wasn't it? You know I have a job. You know where I live, and you know where Ella goes to school. What did you think I was going to do? Get hit by a car and then uproot mine and Ella's entire life to some third world country? I'm not doing anything after I recover, Elliot. Things are going to back to they were."

"What about the house in Brooklyn?"

Olivia's eyes widened. He was referring to their town house. The house they lived in, until Elliot and his miserable life got in the way. The house in Brooklyn was where they moved once they realized they wanted to live together, and they turned it into a home after they married. Ella was conceived there, her old room and most of her toys were there.

Casey had lived near by with her family, and Ella's school was just a few blocks away.

"What about it?"

"How long do you expect to continue to live like this?" He pressed.

"Live like what? Ella and I have everything we need right here."

"Oh right, I forgot," he retorted. "You hate that house. You hate that house and everything it stood for."

Olivia's eyes widened. "You're insane."

"Fine. But this ends here, Olivia. You can either live with me, or I'm taking Ella and we're going back to Brooklyn. Tonight."

"No," she began helplessly, her body freezing to ice as he delivered the words that broke her heart. Elliot couldn't take their daughter. Olivia could fight. She could fight him. He had missed so much of her life, how could he even think that Ella would even want to live with him?

"Try me," he answered back. "I'm done sitting in the dark while you go out and do god knows what with god knows who, with my daughter on your left hip. You better believe it ends here."

"I can't go back to that house Elliot-

"Why? Afraid of the wallpaper? What's the matter, Liv? Will it bring up to many memories?"

"We bought that house together," she answered quietly. He shrugged. "There's not a lot of space, Elliot. After Ella's room this just the master. What are we supposed to-

"So you worried about sex," he interrupted hotly. "I redecorated most of it. The bedroom. The living room. Ella's- all of it. So there's no memories there, Liv. Nothing to be afraid of. And if you worried about my sex life it's doing just fine. No one's going to come creeping in at night for some hot fling. Believe me, you're the last woman I want wrapped around my waist."

Elliot delivered his speech with such disgust, that Olivia's eyes filled with red, glossy, shame. His revulsion hurt her more than she could possibly imagine, more than it ever did. She just wished she knew why. What did she do?

She glanced down at Ella, and realized that she was so grateful to know that at least part of Elliot still loved her. She was grateful for her daughter. But for her marriage...that was something else.

"You wanted me the other day," she reminded him defiantly.

His icy blue eyes hardened. "I _lusted_ for you," he corrected. "Last time I checked, I was your husband. I'm allowed to do that. But don't worry, you've made yourself clear. I'm not going anywhere near you. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not ever again. You wouldn't know how to get me off, anyway."

Olivia flinched as Elliot distanced himself further from her and rose from her side of the bed. She caught the tears just before they fell from her eyes and swiped them hotly from the tips of her cheeks. Almost too expectant, he went after Ella. Her daughter squealed as she was lifted high in the air, and the room echoed with laughter as Elliot began to take her away.

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><p>The move was done in it's entirety over the weekend. They still had a lot of unpacking to do, but it was all pass time as far as Olivia was concerned. If it could provide a reason to be away from Elliot and his damnable stare, she didn't mind so much. Besides, most of what she had packed were photos and little craft projects that she and Ella had done over the years.<p>

It was no biggie, but for Elliot it most certainly was.

Every day for the past three days, he sulked and stared. Refusing to do anymore than he had to. Forcing himself to create a distance from Olivia. It was hard work not giving into his temptation, to see to her needs, make sure she was ok, to make her ok if she wasn't. But Elliot had refused to fall into her trap again; he was calling the shots now.

End of story.

The last time he had been this in tune with her, he had barely been able to see straight. It was when they first met of course. She was the new girl, he was coming out of his thing with Kathy. Frustrated. Going through two, three, four replacements in one month.

She was different.

The new girl.

His secret. His obsession. From the moment they met, he had loved everything about her- Everything. The way she spoke, the way she frowned, the way she wrote, the way she walked, the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she sat down, the way she got up, the way she delivered her miranda rights, the way she parked the car, the way she smelled, the way she wore her hair...Everything.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen since New York in the morning, and he was hooked. Stupid, hooked. Her mouth, her cheeks, the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes that he had ever seen, and that soul. That warm, light baring soul, captivated him.

Loving Olivia wasn't a choice. It had never been a choice, and that was why he had to fix things between them. He couldn't be mad at her forever. He loved her too damn much.

He watched her now, hating her for being so fragile, so needy with her stupid collapsed lung. Everything was an issue. Everything took time, made her tired. Everything made her weak. Made her need him. Tempted him to actually help.

"If we're going to be open in our relationship, I'll start going out too. But I don't want Ella to be involved. Ever."

Elliot frowned at her. Frowned at her so deep that for a moment she thought he was going to strangle her. The hate. The anger. The disgust. What was he thinking?

"Then I want you wearing your rings."

"Fine," Olivia mumbled. And then she was unwrapping another cup, storing it with the others. Their silence returned.

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><p><strong>Honestly I need to stop believing that this story will ever have more than 3000 word update. I just can't do it :(<strong>


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